Chasing pavements

Lately my days have been hell. I've been having the most annoying, hectic, mood swinging days for like a week now. I'm actually tired of chasing pavements with a person I'm not even dating. Idk if it's becuz I didn't start dating him immediately or what. I just know that I'm not Finna continue on with it. I mean, I'm tired of feeling like shit. Feeling as tho I'm not worth more than the dirt on the ground. I know I'm not suffering from depression becuz I just keep to myself too much for that. I smh for trying to get back out there. I sugarcoat everything with a smile, a joke, even a wise crack around my friends. I laughed my last laugh to keep from crying. I haven't shed my last tear tho. They won't drop but they are there somewhere. Classes, they are wearing me down to the point where I just wanna quit school. I'm tired of everything and everybody. I want the old me back...the carefree, always smiling, cracking jokes Morrow. I feel like a abandoned child left to fend for his own even tho I'm a young adult. The last tear, yelling, screaming isn't worth it no more. Is it wrong to just wanna go back. If so...give me 6 reasons why. Becuz as of now I'm just done