Im living day by day. I become more aware of my surroundings. Im maturing more, learning to grow. Crying less, skipping the stress

I think they call this venting. This is me, Marco Ashton Morrow. I sugarcoat alot becuz Im afraid of taking risk. I have a fear of getting close to anyone because they might end up leaving. I don't express my feelings much cuz thats all a nigga knows. I smile to keep from crying, I laugh to hide my fear. I'm currently single, but I have my flirty ways. My heart wants to be with someone but they currently in a relationship. I can be dramatic. I have a handful of friends, many associates tho. I bury myself in work to keep myself distracted. I hide my emotions, my feelings, my heart to keep it all protected. One day I will learn to be caring, fall in love, but as of now...Im worried about me. Everyday I make 2 wishes, 1 for me to find my way back & 2 for me & HB to be as close as we once were. Im gonna work on me spiritually then physically. Im trying to become more outgoing, & who knows...maybe my move to Florida, Cali, Michigan, Georgia, or Philly might be what I need...a fresh start. So I will make a new blog when everything is fresh :)

I think they call this venting. Well here I go. This is me, Marco Ashton Morrow. I sugarcoat alot becuz Im afraid of taking risk. I have a fear of getting close to anyone because they might end up leaving. I don't express my feelings much cuz thats all a nigga knows. I smile to keep from crying, I laugh to hide my fear. I'm currently single, but I have my flirty ways. My heart wants to be with someone but they currently in a relationship. Sometimes I can be dramatic. I have a handful of friends, many acciquantances tho. I bury myself in work to keep myself distracted. I hide my emotions, my feelings, my heart...gotta keep it all protected. One day I will learn to be caring, fall in love, but as of now...Im worried about me. Everyday I make 2 wishes, 1 for me to find my way back & 2 for me & HB to be as close as we once were. Im gonna work on me spiritually then physically. Im trying to become more outgoing, & who knows...maybe my move to Florida, California, Michigan, Georgia, or Philly might me what I need...a fresh start. So I will make a new blog when everything is fresh :)

Lmao! So my long time friend Eddie told me I was overeacting on the whole situation. That I should just put myself out on the line. He's actually right but I'm still gonna give you space. I can only maintain my friend zone forever and a day...its better than not talking to you at all. I mean damn your worth chasing but shid i'll have them moments where I wanna be more. I'm just gonna learn how to control them tho...your happy & thats all that matters. I finally accept things the way they are & grateful that you are still talking to me through everything...it shows how much you care. I'm entrusting my friendship & trust in you...hope I dont make a mistake with HB. Anyways, Im not gonna make this long for you to read so I'm just gonna say #deuces :)

I'm not gonna lie, taking a break from you is actually hard. I keep telling myself I can do it, but deep down I had my feeling wrapped up. Thinking I could try to make something work was an epic fail on my part. I see us drifting apart but I have yet to do anything about it tho. I mean, I can't do it alone. I just miss them days where we would tweet morning to night, text most of the day away, & tell each other somewhat everything. I know you have a boyfriend, & I wish you nothing but happiness. Ha, tears coming down my face while I type this blog but whatever. I never knew I cared so much about you & quite frankly I always will. But even as I wait, Imma say you will always be a good dude HB. #2crucial

You know, hmm, I am maturing alot. On Valentines day I told HB how I been feeling lately. We had a somewhat deep conversation, but I honestly think it didn't do any good. I mean I will always have a plave for him in my heart, but I see it as there is no hope for us. We don't talk as much & when we finally do, our convos be short. I really wouldn't mind working it out, but yeah I can't do it alone. A wish person once told me if you love something you got to let it go, & if it comes back then it means so much more. So I'm going to stand in the background...yeah I will always be here, but I wont come out until he's ready start going back to what use to be...

Im doing pretty good today. Surrounded by the love & support of my family helps me recover fast. Last night was actually hectic. When I woke up, my phone rung HB ringtone. Im like wow, things happen for a reason huh? I didn't go to sleep until 3 just listening to music & thinking. I got to come home today so Im happy about that. I shouldn't push myself to that point anymore. I was thinking about texting him tonite, but ayee, who says he's to answer. I feel us kinda drifting apart but he says that Im special so Im taking his word. If its meant to work then ayee, thats what I gotta go by even tho I would like it to. I don't like adressing my feeling much. I feel there isn't a reason to. I should really start tho.

Hey ppl. Haven't blogged in a while...but I never forgot about it. So time to let y'all know the scoop. Im guessing HB isn't talking to me, god I miss him. I wanted to text him tonite but you know how I am. I still make my wish at 11:11 every night about us. Alot of things been happening this week, so I haven't had much of a social life. With my aunt funeral, school, & this crazy schedule...I don't have time to keep in touch as much. I wonder if he thinks that it is someone else becuz if so never...its always gonna be him. On from that note before I get depressed, Im trynna start my life back over, just doing me. Im trynna leave my past behind & move on with the future. Sure its gonna be hard, but ayee Im going in hard. I started new goals & hopefully they come true. I just really need a break, from like everything. Well into next time, #2crucial out