Tired (From the heart point of view)

There is so much shit & drama going on in my life to the point where I can't even sleep anymore. I'm tired of trying to please everyone's needs except my own. I'm tired of being on my grind to make sure that I have everything me & my grandma need & want. Being in a relationship ain't all peaches & cream either. I liked it better when I was single, that's one unnecessary problem I had to kill me. I mean it has its ups & downs. Everyone looks at what they see & conclude that you two are the perfect couple. You two never have any problems. Take a walk in my shoes & shit will get really real. Everyone says that they have my back but the results seem to prove other wise. I want to go back to those days where life was much simpler for me, but that's a long gone dream of mines. Emotionally, I'm damaged. Killed like Martin Luther King Jr. outside that Hotel in Memphis. People are cold like the winters up in Alaska, harsh & brutal like Nancy Grace was when Whitney Houston died. It's alot of people in my lifetime that I don't fuck with that I use to. So I sit here, shaking my head. Here I am again asking questions, waiting to be moved. Every night I ask God to hear my call but it seems like he always hit return to sender. I have faith thru it all, but it's slowly running thin. I am but a child to his vision. I really don't have any family to associate with becuz my people are just too high classed for me. If I could I would redo my whole life. I've made up my mind, no real reason to think it over. Next year, I'm leaving everything & everyone behind & try to salvage the rest of my life that I've got.