Best birthday ever

Wassup bloggers. Today is my birthday YEED!!! Today was an awesome day. Woke up to Saiyan singing happy birthday to me :). That made me feel like a million bucks. He was at work and everything but he didn't care. He made sure that I was happy and that's what I mainly like about him. He treated me extra special and I'm actually glad that he's here to do that. Anyways H.B. told me happy birthday on twitter YEED?!! Then he suppose to be calling me tonite. Haha in nervous as shit. Haven't heard from him on the phone since like november two years ago on thanksgiving and the day after. Is it cool to be nervous? Anyways had a nice birthday dinner with my family and went shopping with my cousin so I was extra excited. Today was very good in my opinion and I love that. But I mainly gotta give it to Saiyan for giving me the best birthday ever.

Its your birthday tho . . .

I hope you actually took the time out to read this becuz I really put some effort into typing it. . .okay. I'm actually nervous as shit to do this but o well. Its been almost 2 years since i've known you. Do I regret it? Not at all. :) I enjoy messing with you still but sometimes I get nervous as shit to the site of your reject. Idk why but I do. I'm glad to see that everything is going well with you & that your somewhat happy. One of these days I'm gonna come up to Philly & come see you . . .whenever Im not busy as shit & can actually have vacation time. The birthday gift I wanna give you. . .hahaha best be lucky Im not there. I'm just kidding tho . . .or am I? Haha, anyways I hope you enjoy your big day big head & hopefully in the near by future i'll see you or actually get to hear your voice on the phone again. Hint: Thats what I want for my birthday from you . . .& it better happen *jumps at you*. But on a serious note, keep doing your epic shit, keeping your head up, & strive towards success becuz regardless. . .I will always be beside you no matter what. I wish you the best in hopes that you actually recieve it.

          Sincerly,
               Marco
P.S. my birthday March 25. I know you didnt forget but just a reminder. . .hope I get my wish :)

A laying on a hands (For Colored Girls Poem)

I was missing something
something so important
something promised
a laying on of hands
fingers near my forehead
strong
cool
moving
making me whole
sense pure
all the gods coming into me
laying me open to myself
I was missing something
something promised
something free
a laying on of hands
I know bout/laying on bodies/laying outta man
bringing him all of my fleshy self & some of my pleasure
being taken full eager wet like I get sometimes
I was missing something
a laying on of hands
not a man
laying on
not my mama/holding me tight/saying
I’m always gonna be her girl
not a laying on of bosom and womb
a laying on of hands
the holiness of myself released

I sat up one nite walking a boarding house
screaming/crying/the ghost of another woman
who was missing what I was missing
I wanted to jump up outta my bones
& be done with myself
leave me alone
& go on in the wind
it was too much
I fell into a numbness
til the only tree I cd see
took me up in her branches
held me in the breeze
made me dawn dew
that chill at daybreak
the sun wrapped me up swinging rose light everywhere
the sky laid over me like a million men
I was cold/I was burning up/a child
& endlessly weaving garments for the moon
with my tears
I found god in myself
& I loved her/I loved her fiercely

Lol Alter Ego . . .

LMAO, Hey Bloggers/Readers. Today is a great day. Great day outta many. Right now Im on the phone with my daddy...for the first time. He is so funny ... like he act just like me. We crack jokes & everything. Like me & him been on the phone for almost 2 hours and some. I did this without my mama which was a shock to me. He telling me like everything that he went thru when he found out my mama was pregnant. He actually told me that he was the one to tell me that my mama was pregnant but she didnt believe me. He use to walk like miles to see my mom before and after she got pregnant. Idk that he considered my mom his first everything. His first true love, etc. I'm like wow, there was really some history there. The part that killed was when he said my mom was the one that broke his heart. I cant believe that she did that tho...anyways I see where I get my whole attitude from and everything. Straight from him, but I get my looks from my mom tho. Good looks & brains ...double combo. I really have enjoyed my night so after this phone call, headed to the fucking bed. Goodnight tho :)

Shit Keep Happening Tho...

Hey everyone...today just been long. The same ol same ol. Work & classes. Anyways so my dad has really been trying to get into my life. He texted me and was like what you doing and I was like walking around. He was like oh well I wanted to see you...Im not meeting him no where unless my mother is around real talk. I have always been a huge mama's boy but this some shit I cant do without her.*sigh* anyways, it sucks that I dont have anyone to talk to. Like my sister is all busy with her girlfriend & my friend too busy obessing about his boyfriend. . . oh and D.C. too busy trying to mack on someone that he knows that I wanna talk to tho. Smh, like I been talking to this dude like always but I told D.C. about him...it seems like everytime I tell him about a dude he tries to make a move on them. This shit cant be good for my life so maybe he's just one of them ppl that I cant associate with. . . right now Im listening to Olivia - Walk Away. I can relate to this so much becuz at the end of the day...I wanna walk away from all my problems but I dont know where to start.

How do you know...

Hey bloggers/readers. Today was another long and productive day. Class & work as usual. I remember how last night I was so bumbed out about my dad not calling me but I maintained my day regardless to the selfish act let alone which he afflicted on me. Anyways, I got in touch with this dude named Michael who I use to talk to since like last June. We use to message everyday and then we stopped becuz we skyped everyday. Then he vanished and to be honest I thought about him for like a whole month before I concluded that he was just there for that moment being. I was wrong...he messaged me on skype and we talked and caught up. How do you know when you caught the right one? Is it the one that makes you smile the whole time your talking to them? The one that you have extreme close contact with? The one that takes you somewhat outta your element but you feel comfortable with them becuz its the only person you'd do it for? Thats the way I feel when I talk to him...but Im gonna jump the gun with him. Just take it slow like I been doing but I have a strong feeling...this maybe it. Anyways, my dad wrote me on facebook and gave me his number. So I called him but he didnt answer...Im kinda sorta over it now. Im not finna chase behind no person that doesnt conflict with my level. If God wants it to be then I know it will happen. As my great grandma use to say, "When yoru tired of carrying on an extra burdon, take it to God & leave it." From this point...Im leaving it to him. Im starting to become more active as far as God goes tho. I include him in alot of things now but ayee I'll always have my faith. Until next time...dueces

You Failed Me Again...

All my life I always prayed to God that he'd let me one day be blessed to meet my day. Even if it wasnt face to face i'd accept it. Tonite I guess he decided to answer my prayer. My mother came over and told me his name on Facebook. I added him & to be honest I wasnt planning on him to accept it. But he did tho...I commend him for that. My mom told me to message him and tell him that I was his oldest son. So I did...he replied and was like wassup man ! then he told me to call him. Now he knows damn well that I dont have his number. So I replied back expecting him to reply back with the number...no show. So a hour later, I decided to send him my number...no call. Once again, he let me down. You'd think someone that claims to be your father would somewhat attempt to participate in their son life. Guess I'm a none fucking factor dealing with his. . . but the other 3 kids are. Oh and lets not forget to mention his wife. I guess its alright. Im going to do like one of my followers told me to do tho, Don't trip on people that let you down its pointless just smile and think about all those that love you to bits. On this note, another chapter closed in my life and hopefully I will never have to open it again...dueces.