Evolution

Lol. Damn I almost forgot to blog tonite. Anyways, I had an amazing day. I didn't get any sleep but I rode to Atlanta with my mom, grandma, & aunt. It was too wild. After all these years, my mom finally learned how to scratch off a ticket. It was too funny. Then they taught her how to play the lotto numbers. I was really shocked that she didn't know how to do none of that shit. Right now I'm in my bedroom in Georgia. I'm just chilling you know. Had a pretty long day. Soon ad we got here I went to SAMs to get the tires changed & my aunt caused a scene but it's whatever. I came back here & detailed the SUV. Cleaned the inside but imma clean the outside tomorrow before I leave. End up going to sleep in the inside of the SUV until my cousin Ann came. Went to her house & cleaned up just chilling. I haven't enjoyed myself like this in a long time. Well I guess this is #MarcoChilds OUT !!

My black is bold

My black is bold. It's what makes me who I am...& not what others expect from me. I challenge the world with my high level of intelligence & low level of tolerance towards ignorance. I flip thru life like I'm reading a book...chapter one : introduction to life. The only thing about writing this book is that it's stuck in permeant ink. No draw outs or white out allowed. Dammit gotta get it write. I push the level of boundary to make everybody confused about who or what I am? Living in the lab of luxury ain't always what it seems. More money cause more problem, meaning multiple things. Writing this was not my intentions tonite but shit I just my finger hit the keypad & flow. Weither or not you like it or bot really don't mean shit to me long as I spoke what I had to say then I'll be okay. My blog is my life, no bullshit intended. From this day forward I'm speaking my mind cuz I have kept silent too long. #MarcoChilds Out !!

Why?

Today was good. I was sleep most of the day. My home out Brian bought me an iTunes card (surprised the hell outta me!) I lounged around the house until my mom called me yelling about how I promised her I was gonna make her a cd but I never got around to it. So I went on to her house. My mom is truly a character. Anyways, after I left there I came back home & started ironing for Vegas. Come to find out I gotta go to Georgia Saturday. Really wasn't planning on going no damn where Saturday but my house. Guess that's a little out of the picture.  Anyways, I been in the me, myself, & I stage. I seen some that y'all know who tweeted on twitter. I felt a little remorse for them. Idk why...I feel somewhat guilty. Only if I could stop acting like a little bitch & text them. Hmmm...like that will ever happen. Maybe I should take Maurii advice & push myself like she said. Hmmm who knows. #MarcoChilds Out!!!

Work in Progress

Today was pretty far. I went over my sister Kala house with my sister Cheron. We mostly cracked on ppl that had Facebook pages. Well their pics lol...just hilarious. We took it back to them middle school days. Went to bebo.com & looked at our midr school profiles. Man we came a long ass way. I couldn't believe how much I had matured since then. Tonite wasn't really a night that I can say it's so damn awesome. It's just a night that I'm letting slowly slip thru my fingertips. I been playing some songs to make me think like "Notebook" by Chrisette Michele , "Work in Progress" by Mary J. Blige , "In The Morning" by Ledisi , & now "At Your best" by Aaliyah. I'm just in a bittersweet confused train of thought right now. It's hard to explain but only one person understands me & that's Mauresha Waller. She reads me like a book sometimes. On that note, #MarcoChilds out !!

Realizing

Pshhh...today was okay. I finally decided to give AT&T a call today & turn my phone back on. I texted alot of people today. I never knew that many people missed me while I was gone. It was just a month. Anyways, I learned today that someone I had a crush on is in a relationship. Go figure. I stay outta love. I'm grow tired of finding someone worthy enough to date me. Maybe I'm just not meant to date...or at least that's what I'm thinking. On from that, I been trying to move forward and think about my future. My homegirl Courteney & I were texting & talking about school. Us taking a giant leap from our kid days to becoming full young adults. It's time to leave childish acts behind...stop relying on moms & dads money & start making our own. Coming from wealthy homes, shit I'm tired of leaving under my family name. I want a name of my own. Preferably in the lights, on build-boards, or hell maybe on a sign. Marco Childs is what I wanna be known by. I still have my acting career that I always wanted. I have a plan b tho. Marketing, accounting, or advertisement. On from that, I really can't believe that I am actually sleepy this early. Hmmm...idk. It really has been a long day so I think I'm gonna call it a night. Until next blog #MarcoChilds Out !! 

Harder than I thought

I thought I was so far ahead. I thought that I was over the fact that even tho I put in so much hard work, so much time in that I would eventually get over it. For the longest I thought we would be together. I wished, hoped, dreamed, damn near prayed that we would. I tried to play a song that we first made conversation off of when we first started talking. Who's been loving you? Never did I think it would have such a toll impact on the way I actually feel about you. Shit, then I think that I'm no longer in the friends zone. Ughh, I regret the day that I told you I had feelings for you. Maybe we would have been tighter than before. Closer than we were before. Maybe I should have held down my station #FriendZone. Does it really have to hurt? Are these tears really necessary? I wish for that moment where we can be cool & actually meet. Smh, #MarcoAshton leaving. 

Forgiving

Hmmm...what's up people? Let's see...I went to church yesterday. Even tho I didn't actually get to go upstairs to hear the choir sing & the sermon by the pastor, I really learned something today. I learned that forgiveness is key to everything. I always been told that, just never paid it any attention. I'm gonna go back next Sunday if LaVee picks me up. Right now, I'm just sitting here at the table listening to Fantasia " I'm here". I'm getting back into the habit of blogging if you understand where I'm coming from. I just got thru watching Behind The Music 2 : Mary J. Blige. I never knew that she went thru many trials & tribulations in her life. That's probably why I can relate to most of her music. Looking at the show tonight almost really made me cry. I understood every single thing she mostly been thru. From the mistreat in the relationship with K-Ci...to searching for someone to love her & furthermore loving herself. I'm on the stage right now : Loving Myself. I hope I get it right this time. I love the phrase that Mary used tonight "I'm not perfect. I'm not an angel. I'm just a work in progress." I think that's gonna be the theme for my new pictures. In the words of Jennifer Hudson "Better believe I got this". On that note, until next blog #MarcoChilds Out !!  

Bracing for church

4 am...I'm barely getting any sleep. I had to been sleep at 1:20 or some like that. I feel alot is on my mind for some strange...awkward reason. Or maybe it's someone that's on my mind. Right now, typing this blog feels like a dream or a thinkman of my imagination. Maybe my late night stays has something to do with my mind. I think I just need to relax some. That's kinda hard. I wish right about now that I had some sorta type of sleeping pills. "California King Bed" by Rihanna just came on. I like that part when she says "I been California wishing on these stars." This song is really relaxing. My eyes are kinda getting heavy listening to it tho. Maybe I'm getting sleepy. Ooo I like this part "Maybe I been California Dreaming." I'm really feeling her on this song. Music is really my life I could say. Probably why I watch less tv anyways. I guess you could say it's the pieces of me. Hmmmm, night loves. #MarcoChilds Out !!

Ephiany

Today was good. Ummm...woke up this evening real late say about 5 some. Went to sleep at 7 this morning. Me & my friends started talking about making a new book. We gonna call it "Gay Girls Lullaby". My sister LaVee says that with a title like that it should be real deep. The story is starting off good. We just gotta keep making progress everyday. Im really liking the whole idea. On the other hand, I found out that one of my favorite singers Amy Winehouse died today in her home. That really did bring tears to my eyes. I listen & breathe her music everyday. I was really hoping that she was gonna come out with a new cd but I guess not. Everything happens for a reason I guess. On from that, I think tomorrow I'm gonna go to church. It's been a while since I been. Hopefully it goes good...hopefully. I don't think I'm gonna stay up late tonight tho. Smh, can't be sleeping in church now can I? #NewsFlash man that song "I'm A Star" by Chrisette Michele just came on. Hmph, that was the song playing the whole night me & HB first talked on the phone. Sigghh...I guess. Coming from a new point of view...until next blog #MarcoChilds Out !!!

For Colored Girls

Tonight is just a laid back night. Been watching movies...enjoying my company you could say. I watched For Colored Girls for the first time. It was really good. I know the movie is dedicated to black women, but I can somewhat relate to like three of the women. Janet (Joanna) her character is somewhat my entire life. I mean always being told "I'm sorry" by the person you love most of the time really does get tired...aggravating I might add. Hmmm...what would we do for the person we love? Another soul I can relate too I would say Loretta Devine (Wanetta Sims). We have the same problem. Fall in love with that one person & when they are gone...we try to leave them alone but when they come back...we accept anything. It's more to that story but you guys should already know. I would say my third person would be ol girl who was sleeping with all them dudes (Tangie). Even tho I'm a virgin, I still talk to alot of people. Maybe because we been hurt by that one person that we feel the need not to trust anyone. I still feel that way...therefore I still do what I do. Maybe one day I'll stop & think about it. Thats another story tho. I really thank Tyler Perry for making this movie tho. It's very, very good. So I'm still learning, still growing & one day I'm gonna get it all right. These late night stays, these epiphanies I keep having is really easing my mind. One thing I learned tonight from watching this movie is this...My love is too pure to be thrown back in my face & my love is too complicated to be thrown back in my face. Until next blog...#MarcoChilds out !!   

A better me

I have high hopes...big dreams for myself. Never have I actually took the time to sit down & actually think about what foot is next for my life. So while watching Necessary Roughness on demand, I grabbed the little black book. I know what your probably thinking. No it's not the black book where you keep your loves numbers in. It's a little black book that Tina (my summer college course teacher) gave us. She told us if we ever had a thought or wanted to write, grab that book & let the pen flow. When she actually gave us the book the thought that came to my mind was "She must be crazy...I ain't finna use this shit." Truth be told, I'm using the hell outta it. I wrote down places I wanted to visit before I turn 45. I wrote down professions I actually might wanna pursue in my life. I always add a new one to that category because I can't seem to make up my mind on what to choose. I still can't make up my mind on what college to go to tho...or which degree to get first. I think I want five degrees....all masters. The time for games is really over. Time for me to grow up & take responsibility of the man I'm becoming. Independent...is what I'm trynna become. Today a put my first bill in my name. I felt so happy. I'm gonna start working on a bank account tho. I should have one by now instead of sharing one with my grams. Truth be told, the break is really benefitting me alot. I love the fact that I'm doing something right. This years focus is to make myself known. We'll see how that goes. Getting much wiser & learning more. Hopefully, Marco Childs name will be in them big beautiful lights somewhere for something great. Haha, #Hopefully. Anyways, I think I'm done for tonite. Until next blog, #MarcoChilds Out !!

Growing

This one is named Growing. You know, we always wonder why we never get the one we want...or maybe its just me. Anyways, I wondered that for the longest. You guys already know the story from the rest of the old blogs. My struggle to get that one person that I like so much to get to like me back. Some things you have to grow from. I think I am tho. Who would ever guess that it would be a long break from social sites, texting, & talking on the phone? I did something for me...for a change. Went to Philly for a week. Just me to relax & enjoy myself. Now, I'm back at home. Phone still off but I'm actually enjoying it.  Went on twitter last week to tell one of my brothers happy birthday. Did that for Facebook as well. The break, hmmmm never thought it would be so damn easy I guess. On a real tip, I have no problem talking to or as you may say "typing" my lifestory out to blogger. The reason why is because maybe there is someone out there. Someone just like me, who's been going thru what I am or is going thru what I'm going thru & sees my point of view. I gotta say tho...I wonder what life has in store for me. I'm just hoping & praying that it maybe something great. Each tear & downfall...there's a lesson. Let it flow...#MarcoChilds out!!