Saturday, April 30, 2011
Each person has no need to be trusted. I keep trying to believe that everyone has or deserves a chance. Guess i'll be wrong. I was wrong for trusting the both of you. It hurts like hell. True I lost trust in both of you & in the end Im the one with the tears, Im the one with a new fear, I layed it out on the line, & Im the one who's gonna be struggling on my grind. True enough you made me cry, shit that hard surprise. But Im gonna be fine, when that one day that angel inside of me is gonna learn to fly.
LOVE...I use to. Now, I prefer to be alone. I feel as though if I can't have who I want then there is no need to settle & regretting it later. I enjoy my company too much for me to "settle" for anyone. I have plenty of ppl who wanna date me. The fact of the matter is, Im not going to do. Falling in love takes time, its just not handed to you. That means alot of hard work, alot of effort, alot of tears, alot pain. I dont wanna do it no more. So I figure I will stay on the #TeamOfMe. Who knows me better than myself?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
It seems as though my happiest moments are when Im alone (single). I just try to make the best out of things, breathe I believe. I can't help but to just think what it would be like if we dated...but Im dealing with it. Can't find anyone to measure up to you so I'd rather be alone. Fear is what stopped from telling you how I feel, what could have been, what actually should have been. But, Im working on me...#WorkInProgress
Monday, April 25, 2011
I feel good today. You know, after everything I put myself thru, each tear, each heartache, I still manage to be myself. In the mist of it all, I smile. Sitting up here listening to Kirk Franklin made me realize that I have been missing something in my life. No its not a person, not a material item, but God. Yeah, I believe in him but I haven't prayed in a while. Thats why it seemed like my life was catching hell. When in reality, it was a thinkman of my imagination. Im not gonna give up, cuz I look so much better when I smile. Im finally crying, not becuz Im sad, but becuz I learned a lesson & it was worth it. Also becuz Im finally happy with myself & hopefully I can keep this going for myself.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Someone asked me today "Are you in love?" ...my answer, I was...once. Even tho the person I loved never felt the same for me, it didn't stop me from feeling for them. They made my eyes open up to things that I knew couldn't be true. They helped my grow, taught me how to not be afraid to show who I am...or how I feel. It made me a stronger, better, wiser person & taught me its okay to let down your guard to certain people. Even tho we aren't dating, even if we 100 miles apart, I can never forget what you taught me. Even tho we are close friends, even tho your name was heartbreak, you will always & forever be here....in my heart.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Today was good. Laughed at them ppl at school today. Just came outta my element today. Started back socializing like I use to. I didn't let my emotions from last night interfere with my day. Guess I had accepted. I think Im making the right decision by you, intrusting you with my friendship. Can't afford to get hurt again. Im growing, & like most things that grow, Im maturing. Learning that everything that glitters, isnt gold. Everybody isn't what they say they are. & your friends, in this lifetime are a limited few. Hopefully you dont let me down, #Heartbreak.
Monday, April 18, 2011
I've had the best day today. Signed some papers, talked to my best friend...but where am I at the end of the night? Sitting on the couch, listening to "Where you at?" feeling sad; trying my best not to cry. Haven't cried in a while. Idk why I cry when I have your friendship. Its just one of them nights of regrets I guess. It wasn't meant for us to be together, I'll have to accept that. Then the point it, you'd never know how I feel becuz I never told you how I felt. & maybe if I did, that would have ruined the friendship of which Im trying to build with you. I mean its strong, & I want it to stay that way. So once again, suck it up Marco, everything is not meant to be. Live, learn, patience, grow.
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